Offbeat Motherhood

Trampoline Conversations

A few days ago Phillip and I purchased a trampoline for Samsara for her eighth birthday.  Let me tell you, it was the best investment we have ever made.  Each day after breakfast the children immediately bound out the door and head straight for the new toy.  My husband and I even find ourselves jumping on it (dailyJ).  The children have a new mantra.  “Trampoline Mommy?”  I’ve become quite accustomed to their repeated questioning, and must admit that I actually enjoy it.  I’d rather they be outside than in the house.  I love watching them jump and chase each other around on it.  It’s amazing how well they work together while on the trampoline.   I caught a glimpse of Jules on it the other day teaching his older brother and sister how to do a forward flip.  I watched in amazement as Donovan and Samsara listened intently as he instructed them on how to do it properly so that they wouldn’t get hurt.  Although, I think that Donovan was a little disappointed that Jules had perfected the forward flip before he had.  They are generally more cooperative with one another and are learning how to work together to achieve a common goal (the perfect jump). 

Our house has even become a favorite spot for all of their friends.  Once they arrive they don’t want to leave.  There’s always the constant, “Can I please have one more jump before we leave Mommy?”  The laughter and joviality that they exude resonates constantly in my spirit.  I am most happy when I know that the children are in a state of bliss and they are certainly content when jumping.    

Our trampoline has become a place not only for jumping but for family discussions, for meditation and good old fashioned roughhousing.  I can’t begin to tell you how many evenings I saw my husband sitting out on the trampoline with the kids philosophizing about anything from jumping to the art of meditation.  I went out there the other night to find them all sitting in full lotus positions.  I have gone out there simply for a good jump or two before retiring for the evening, and like my husband have had good talks with the children while flying through the air.  We love our new toy, and plan on using it for many years to come.        

Our night at the carnival

I just love carnivals.  I love the colors, the smells, the people, and the small town feeling that you get while you are walking around.  Almost everywhere you turn you see someone that you know.  I ran into at least 3 acquaintances last night alone.  My husband and I (on a whim) took the children and my two nieces with us to the local carnival last night.  I think I was more excited about going than the children were.  When we arrived there was a flurry of activity everywhere we turned.  On our left there were games, on the right there was food, and somewhere in the middle there were rides.

My children were beaming wide eyed with sheer excitement and so was I.  I’m not so sure that Phillip was as thrilled.  He doesn’t like crowds.  The kids and I were definitely ready to go.  We bought some tickets and were off and running.  We rode the bumper cars and the Hurricane. We rode a couple of other rides but I honestly cannot remember the names (it must be old age).  When the kids tired of the rides, we ran to the concession stand to buy French fries and funnel cake.  Funnel cake is the one indulgence that I absolutely cannot resist.  After all we only have it once a year.  We ran from one end of the carnival to the next.  The kids played several games, and actually won a couple of them.  I was completely and utterly thrilled for them.  We came home with five new members of the family; a yellow and black snack and stuffed purple bear, and three goldfish.  Our night at the carnival ended with a spectacular fireworks display, and chocolate milkshakes.  It was definitely a good night with my family.        

The Perfect Swim Suit?

On Sunday I went out to buy myself a bathing suit.  This process is always so completely painful for me.  A long time ago in a land far far away shopping for a bathing suit was actually enjoyable (when I was a size 6).  I looked forward to it.  It signified the start of the summer season.  My feelings are no longer the same.  After having three great kids subsequently gaining and losing weight over and over again during the past 10 years, I have come to the realization that shopping for a bathing suit is not easy.  I can no longer just pull something off of the rack and take it home.  There is a great deal of effort which goes into purchasing the perfect suit for my body type.  Although I look better now than I did 40 lbs ago, my body no longer has the elasticity that it once did when I was younger.  In other words, everything has gone south (especially the boobs).  So, I really have to look. 

            On the search for my perfect bathing suit this season, I ran into a number of problems.  For one thing, what makes these clothing manufacturers think that everyone can wear a bikini?  Everywhere I went there was nothing but racks filled with those horribly tiny two piece bathing suits.  Hello!!!!!!!  Not everyone is a size two.  The one piece suits I did find were so horribly colored and patterned that I could only envision an old lady wearing them.  Big funky flowers and odd looking bugs are not flattering on anyone (not even the old ladies).  I’m not a grandmother!!!  I’m only 36 years old.  Let’s take into consideration those NORMAL women who are a size 10 and up (who still have some fashion sense).  Let’s consider those of us who have curves, who do not look like walking sticks.  Sure, I sometimes fantasize that I could one day squeeze back into that old size 6, but it’s not happening.  I’m okay with this.  I have matured and I will never look like I did when I was twenty again.  Although, I will say this, I am still young and should not have to dress like I’m sixty.  I’d like to think that I still look good. 

            While looking for my perfect suit, I ran into several obstacles.  I have large boobs and I always have trouble finding a suit with suitable coverage for the upper half of my body.  I’d like to keep everything covered (so would my husband).  I don’t want to look like I’m wearing pasties.  Every swimsuit that I tried on fit the bottom half but not the upper.  Most women have more bottom than top, which is not the case with me.  I suspect that there a quite a few women out there who have my problem.  Unfortunately this is always an issue when shopping for my suits.  HELP!!!!  I went to several stores, to look at suits and it was always the same issue.  I was completely frustrated.  When I arrived at the last store, I was pleased to discover that they were having a sale (yeah!!!) and they looked liked they had a decent selection of bathing suits.  The patterns were good and the types and styles seemed plentiful.  Finally, I saw a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel.  I looked at three different racks and found two suits that I thought looked flattering.  One was a one turquoise and black one piece, and the other was a black tankini.  Frustrated, I purchased both suits and decided to wait until I got home to try them on (knowing that I couldn’t return them).  I was completely drained and didn’t have the strength to try on anymore bathing suits in the store.  I said a prayer and walked out of store hoping against all hopes that they would fit.  Shortly after arriving home I tried them on.  Halleluiah!!!!  They fit, and they actually looked good.  My prayers were answered.

            It’s a shame that I had to go through all of this to find a suit.  I can’t even tell you how many stores I had to go to.  As I sit here and type up this blog I have to wonder how many other women have the same issues when shopping for the perfect suit.  Based on what I have seen this past weekend, I’m sure that I am not alone.              

Dinnertime Observations

Today my husband and I decided to take the kids to a fancy restaurant for dinner to celebrate his college graduation.  Woo Hoo!!!  What were we thinking?!  While sitting at the table waiting for our food I sat quietly and observed the interaction between my husband and children.  Jules was sitting and the end of the table with the neatly folded cloth napkin on his head pretending that he was Captain Hook.  Donovan was holding his hair back attempting to measure his head to estimate the size of his brain and Samsara was talking about how shopping for clothes and toys after meals allowed for easier digestion (she’s a girl after my own heart J).  To top it all off my husband was making interesting shapes with the silverware trying to kill time with the kids while waiting for his food.  While observing all of them I had to just laugh.  These moments are absolutely precious I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  I just wish that I had my camera with me when Jules put the napkin on his head as a hat. 

Finding Myself Again

After a few days of being away, I’m finally back!  My food poisoning scare really put a damper on things.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been that sick.  I just thank God that it’s over.  I am once again a fully functioning Wife & Mommy, ready for the world.  I was actually back on my feet on Friday, but this weekend was spent doing everything that I was unable to get accomplished last week due to my prolonged visit with my friend Mr. Toilet bowl.  I spent my weekend cleaning up the weeks mess (i.e. laundry, dusting, floors), and spending some much needed time with my husband and kids.  Life is definitely good. 

            I recently decided that I was going to make the most of what little free time that I have and start painting again.  It’s been months since I’ve picked up a paintbrush.  I’ve been so extraordinarily busy since the kids have been out of school I haven’t had much time to breath much less paint.  When the children were smaller I would sit them at the kitchen counter and allow them to paint with me so that I could get my work done.  The kids always have fun when they are able to work with me.  I miss painting it gave me time to meditate and to just develop my spiritual self in a sense.  All of my problems disappeared and I was able to focus on that certain something hidden deep within the recesses of my soul.  I know this probably sounds corny, but there’s no other way to describe it.  I’ve found peace within myself when I pick up the brush and paint.  Each stroke signifies an emotion that I can’t necessarily express verbally. 

So, as of today Monday, July 17, 2006 I take this oath:  I WILL TAKE THE TIME THAT I NEED TO DEVELOP MY HIGHER SELF AND PAINT AGAIN (at least one day a week to start J)!!!!!

My New Friend

The past couple of days have been a little rough.  I’ve been sick.  I think that I might have acquired a slight case of food poisoning.  I went out to dinner with my husband and children the day before yesterday and I haven’t been right since.  Although I’m not sure that it’s food poisoning, it seems like the most obvious diagnosis.  Lord!  Help Me!!!  I feel absolutely rotten.  Even though I’m sick life goes on.  I can’t just lie in bed and sleep it off all day.  I’ve had to get up and take care of my children.  Phillip does what he can when he’s not at work but from 9:00 to 5:00 mommy duty prevails.  My work is never ending.  Maybe tonight I’ll be able to get some sleep and finally relinquish the cold hard porcelain of my new friend the toilet bowl. 

Cardboard Creativeness

This weekend my husband and I bought a swing set for our children.  We spent about six hours on Saturday putting it together.  I should say that he spent about six hours putting it together.  The kids and I helped a little bit, but he did most of the work.   While Phillip was working I noticed that the children spent most of their time playing with the giant box the swing was packaged in.  They hid in it, jumped on it and rolled on it.  They pretended that it was a house, a boat, a fort and a sled.  It was great.  They used their imaginations to just have fun.  They all took turns creating their own universes using a simple cardboard box.  It was amazing.  When the play set was finally complete the kids immediately jumped on the swing, but my youngest excitedly asked if we could hang on to the box a little longer before we threw it away.  It just goes to show, we should never underestimate the power of the ordinary cardboard box. 

Let's Play

Today was a good day.  We had errands to run, but when we got home we spent quality time together by simply playing.  We ran around the yard, played with cardboard airplanes, and I got a lesson in baseball from my nine year old son and my husband.  We laughed, joked and enjoyed the pleasure of each others company.  At the end of day Phillip and I took the kids out for ice cream and listened to them talk incessantly about whatever was on their minds. 

After the wonderful day that I had with my family it occurred to me that as adults we all need to take a lesson from our children by simply learning how to play.  When we were younger we just instinctively knew how to run, jump, scream, yell and be silly.  We knew how to use our imaginations to create completely different worlds in which we would travel to fulfill our sense of adventure.  As adults that sort of behavior just doesn’t come naturally.  We are so mired down with our bills, jobs and responsibilities that we have forgotten how to be young.  Let’s forget for a moment our troubles (bills, work, in-laws, etc) and just play.  Let’s have fun by spending the quality time that our children want and need.  They need us to be present in their lives not just as authoritative figures but as playmates. 

I realized that I could spend more time playing with my kids.  I like most moms are extremely busy and will tell the children to go to their rooms to play, when I know that they just want to spend time with me.  So, I have decided to make it a point to stop washing the dishes or mopping the floor (after all it will be there in the morningJ) and spend more time with them by just playing.  Let’s take a lesson from our children, step back, remember a simpler time in our lives and just have fun.  After all playing makes you happy and isn’t that what we’re all striving for. 

What's he Hiding?

I don’t have a lot to blog about today.  I went to the eye doctor to buy a new pair of prescription sunglasses to replace the ones that I lost.  When I asked my husband what he thought about the sunglasses that I picked out he replied…..

“I don’t want to get into a fashion discussion with you dear, because you know I have no fashion sense.  I just have strong opinions.  I’ve never liked any of the glasses you’ve bought.”

I was shocked.  After all of the years that we’ve been together it’s amazing to me that I have never known this.  Has he lied to me all these years about every pair of glasses that I have purchased?  I wonder what other secrets he’s been hiding from me?

Take Your Child Please!

I frequently find myself babysitting for friends during the summer who have to go to work.  Most of the time I don’t mind doing it, but occasionally I have one of those days when I just want to pack it in, tell my friends to take their children home and never come back.  Unfortunately today was one of those days.  We went on a nature hike in the local park with approximately 25 other children and their mothers earlier today.  I thought that it would be a great opportunity to get the children out of the house, get some exercise and learn something about our environment. 

The walk started off normally enough.  An instructor led us through the woods and talked to the children extensively about the local ecosystem.  He stopped occasionally at trees, and bushes pointing out and identifying birds, insects and mammals which are indigenous to the area.  Most of the children were attentive and genuinely interested in what was being taught.  They followed behind the instructor picking up rocks and leaves searching for bits and pieces of nature to discover.  My children followed behind quietly observing and asking questions when they were curious about something they saw.  The other two girls who came with us followed along peacefully pointing out and picking up rocks, bugs and frogs, while talking to me excitedly about their findings.  The youngest in my group, a six year old whom shall remain nameless decided that she was going to defy me at every turn.  When I told her to slow down she sped up.  When I told her to stay with the group, she ran off.  When I told her to quiet down she talked louder.  When I told her to stay out of the water, she got wet.  When I called her to come and walk with me, she kept on going.  Needless to say I was livid.  I didn’t know whether to grab her by the collar and carry her the rest of the way or  let her keep going until we got to the end of our journey put her in the car and drop her off at her mothers place of employment and keep driving.  I don’t believe that any child has made me that angry in a long time.  I found myself counting to ten over and over again during our little walk.  Not wanting to scream and yell at the child in front of the rest of the parents I kept my mouth shut.  I decided I wasn’t going to say anything to her about her behavior until her mother picked her up.

            When we left the park, I took all of the kids to the Pretzel factory (as if the park wasn’t enough) for a snack.  While the children were eating, I sat down and had a private talk with my problem child about her behavior.  She told me she was sorry and assured me that she would behave herself as long as I didn’t tell her mother, but based on her wonderful behavior today J that was a promise I could not keep.  I dropped my daughter’s other friend off at home, and arrived at my home just in time to greet “problem child’s” mother at the front door.  I spoke to her briefly about the day’s events, and she assured me that she would handle the situation when she got home.

            After the children left and I was at home alone with Donovan, Samsara and Jules I couldn’t help but sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.  I’ve always considered myself to be a patient woman, but I fully acknowledge that based on the actions of one child I was pushed to my limits.  I thought very seriously about telling my best friend not to bring her child back.  Instead I just repeated my favorite prayer, and thanked God that I made it through the day.  I gave my children a hug and a kiss and realized that I was truly blessed.  I’ve been blessed because I have been given the wonderful opportunity to spend my days at home with my children.  And believe it or not, I’ve been blessed to have met this wonderfully challenging child who most definitely gave me a run for my money today.  Everything happens for a reason.  Perhaps.  As soon as I figure out what that reason is I'll let you know.  So the next time I have a horrible day I might think twice before I ask “take your child, please?”

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

This blog was written yesterday but not posted until after midnight.

Declaring My Independence

I have wholeheartedly declared my independence from this holiday weekend.  After attending 4 cookouts and consuming half my body weight in hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken, ribs, potato salad, coleslaw cheesecake and pies, I declare enough is enough.  I’m done!!!!  Although I’ve enjoyed each and every one of the barbeques that we’ve attended, the side affects of my reckless holiday behavior have hit hard.  I threw caution to the wind this weekend and ate whatever I wanted.    I feel bloated (must be all of the cheesecake I consumed).  Lactose intolerance has kicked my behind (literally).  All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, AFTER EVERY MEAL!  My children didn’t know what to think.  I’d fall out almost immediately after we’d come home (and after almost every meal).  Most nights I didn’t know what time the kids went to bed.  They could’ve done anything they wanted to, and I wouldn’t have known. 

We just got home from our last and final barbeque (Thank God!) of this holiday a few minutes ago and I’m exhausted.  I’ve sent the kids to their room for the night and consumed my last piece of cheesecake (Yum!) for at least the next two weeks (until the next cookout).  I’m going to bed.  I officially declare my independence from the food, the traffic, the tourists, the firecrackers and the cookouts of this extended 4^th of July weekend.  Good night. 

P.S.  I apologize if my entries over the past couple of days have been a bit incoherent.  I’ve been in a barbequed haze.   

Date Night Disaster?

Last night my husband and I had the rare opportunity to go out on a date (WOO HOO!). It had been months since we’d been alone on a Saturday night (or any night for that fact).  The children were staying with my parents at the hotel so we decided to take full advantage of our time alone.  We made elaborate plans to go bowling, go to the movies and to go out to dinner.  Since we hardly have any time alone, we decided to cram a number of activities into one night (crazy eh?!).  It was marathon dating with a twist.  Unfortunately after hours of planning and discussion, things didn’t work out as expected.  We drove to the movie theatre and after staring (for what seemed like hours) at what was playing, we decided to leave.  We then walked aimlessly through the mall until closing talking about what we thought the children were doing and about the new part we needed for our weed wacker (Yuk!!).  Deciding later that we were too tired to go bowling we headed to the nearest restaurant to have a drink.  While having our drink we talked at length about the bills, children, school, work and our in-laws.  Things we promised one another we would not discuss.  We then went home, got into our pajamas, ordered a movie and fell asleep before it was over.

            WHAT HAPPENED TO US!!! Is it age?  The last time I looked in the mirror, I wasn’t that old and neither was he.  We had so much energy when we were younger.  What happened to the reckless spontaneity and unbridled passion that we once possessed?  We never had a problem finding something to do.  We just did it.  We went to concerts, clubs, movies, bowling, and dancing.  We went on long walks while aimlessly roaming the streets of Philadelphia talking about absolutely nothing.  We made love when we felt like it and not once did we have to lock the doors.  Once upon a time we were able to stay up all night and still get up in the morning to go to work.  There was no talk of lawnmower parts or runny noses.

            After thinking about this at length today, I came to the realization that our dating past was in the past and as humans we are forever evolving.  Evolving into or morphing into older more mature people who have a responsibility to raise these wonderful beings we call our children.  The dating was what got us to where we are today.  Without that spontaneity and thriving impulse to go and be in our younger years we might not have made it to our reality today.  Truth be told, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.  Our date last night was fine with me.  I was just happy to have that time together as a couple.  When it was all said and done, my favorite part of the evening was putting on my pajamas, crawling into my warm bed next to my husband, and falling asleep in his arms while watching a very forgettable movie.  That to me was an excellent date.